God has never fucked me. That’s why I hate him so goddamn much. He’s such a cock tease. At least Santa gives me coal.

I have an aversion to acceptability, but deep down I really want to be accepted & loved by you. So I’m just testing your lovely ass. Please don’t go.

I know we’ve just met, but I’ll let you touch my soul, if you let me touch yours. Okay, future lover??

A wealthy person with a mainstream identity is still pretty fucking poor.

I’m a serial polyamorist.

Being inside the feeling of super intense, ultra deep, romantic love with another amazing person is the best! But, notice that this peak state of connection & pleasure is never sustained indefinitely with another individual, and it always emotionally normalizes or often crashes & burns in the real world. The peaks & highs of this addictive pleasure are outrageously awesome, but the valleys & lows of it can really truly hurt you, because you become so emotionally invested & dependent upon it, like an addict.

However, there actually is a way to not feel this emotional pain and continue indulging in the highs of such deep love. You won’t ever do this within your normal conventional life, but I certainly will in my maximized alternative life, and I’ll enjoy the super highs of intense love every single day of my life, until the day I die.

How?? Simple… By continuously falling in love with multiple people at the same time. This way, when you’re in a valley of disconnection with someone you deeply love, you can just go experience the peak connection of intense love with another lover of yours. When you’re literally drowning in intense feelings of love all around you, on a daily basis, from multiple partners, it will pleasurably wipeout any otherwise temporary or enduring feeling of loss/rejection/disconnection with any one individual you love.

Most people will reject this notion of serial polyamory for being too immoral or alternative. The rest of you will reject this notion for being too hard to continuously make happen or maintain. HAHAHA… For the former peeps… Enjoy the crumbs of happiness in your Double P life. For the latter peeps… Wouldn’t you like to know my secrets of how to make this relatively easy to have throughout your life?

Deeply intense romantic love is one of the highest stakes games of emotional pleasure & pain that you can play. You’re gonna want to play it with one big ass happiness shield. This is how you predictably maximize your pleasure & happiness while being well shielded from the severe pain that others have to endure, because they’re playing an all-or-nothing game with one lover, while naked to the high risk of it. Construct yourself a big shield of happiness. Then play and win, every single day.

So, go ahead. Don’t be scared. Use this approach and feel the true love, for real, physically, as deeply & intensely as you can, every day you wake up on this spinning space marble. You’ll always have someone to love you back as much as you need & want. You’ll be safe. You’ll be loved. It’s how you’d do it inside your own simulated reality.

I’m sorry, but I’ve never seen an attractive old lady that I want to fuck or make love to, either in a photo or in real life. For me, sexual attraction is largely tied to physical attractiveness. Maybe that won’t always be, and someday I’ll love a special old ugly granny romantically, who’s gonna rock my world sexually. But I just can’t foresee it happening. I mean, some dudes are even more physically attractive than all the old grannies I’ve seen. But I’m so happy to be platonic friends with you cool grannies. Just don’t have a hernia and die when your daughters & granddaughters wanna get naughty with me and I say yes.

Lifelong marriage is a great concept, if you love fucking senior citizens. Seriously… No wonder most old people aren’t known for being super fun. Why mix your love with that type of lifestyle? How’s that more fun? How does that give you more happiness? It just helps ensure that you’re forever chained to that other human being, for better, or WORSE. Love is not meant to be an obligation. Such notions only end up reducing individual happiness. Oh, the tyranny of social defaults.

Literally anything can be considered truly indecent or obscene by any individual walking this earth. For example, some might think certain aspects of my alt sexuality are so, while some might think certain aspects of your personal religion are so. So it first takes someone thinking & believing that something is indecent or obscene for it to become so. There is no such thing as inherent indecency or obscenity. Relative opinions of these things just simply appear & fade throughout the sands of time with humanity. Therefore, the one who thinks something is indecent or obscene should be punished by the law, not the other way around. My activities are simply done out of what makes me and my friends happy. Your mind is what turned it into indecency or obscenity. You should be punished. …with an erotic spanking.

Fear of rejection is like germs & bacteria. No matter how well you try to clean something, there will always be at least trace amounts of it left over.

A few short years ago, several of my family & friends didn’t actually believe me when I said I was a rebel. That was still back in my humanitarian mission days, so they chose to believe what they saw on the surface, which was a nice young entrepreneur striving for big business success. Now what??

I want to make love to your butt crack. It just looks so damn cute.

I love waking up to the first snow day of the year with lots of it already on the trees, houses, & ground. Such a pleasurable change of mindset, overnight. Let’s go make hot cocoa & snuggle within our own enchanting winter wonderland.

Dim lighting is more enchanting and pleasurable than bright lighting.

Let’s trade consent to rape each other. I just drew up legal papers to make it formal. It will be such an intimate bonding experience for you and I. I love you.

You won’t believe me or heed this advice, but… Deep philosophy, where you truly question the core nature & meaning of fundamental shit over many years, is a key part to fulfilling your potential for maximal happiness. Without it, you’ll likely retain too many common mainstream beliefs in your subconscious that prevent you from maximizing your life experience. You’ve got to jump off the deep end and give up being normal, or your personal experience of life will remain forever normal, and so will your happiness. Too much work? Too afraid of rejection? Good luck being stuck.

Don’t fukken tell me what to do… do… do, do, do.

What if you could do something within your life where, instead of having brief magic moments once every few months or less, you started predictably experiencing them on a daily or potentially hourly basis, and could even extend them out to last longer? We’re talking extreme happiness strategy here. Forget your crumbs of happiness within a “good life”. You only get to live once. Have it all.

I’m a 17 year old alt girl who needs all three of my fuck holes filled by family. Sowwy for being bad.

A good indicator for your current mental capability to experience consistently extreme happiness is whether or not you can easily laugh your ass off at funny shit on a daily basis. If you can’t, then… Why so serious? What’s going on in other parts of your life that you’re afraid of or pained by? Rejection? Loss? Past pain? You know… Your childhood self doesn’t have to be the happiest version of you in this lifetime. There’s plenty more happiness on tap, buried deep inside of who you truly are.

A narratophile is a professional obscene thinker & talker who is often turned on by it in a sexual context. And when you’ve philosophized about how relative & existential life demonstrates to be, like I have, then you really don’t have any mental limits. So it gets outrageously obscene, but don’t confuse that with real life stances. They are two separate things. Okay, pumpkin fukker??

Saying nice things to another person doesn’t mean there’s a real connection there. Real connection is contained within a personal feeling, not words. Too often, our words with others are inflated way beyond our actual feelings…out of pleasantry, image, strategy, fear, etc. I’d rather focus much more on the true feeling of our connection, than inflated words. We’d get much closer to fulfillment, years sooner, by doing so.

The only things you really want from the mainstream world are the human connection & financial security. Otherwise, you have no real reason to not be off in your own custom bubble world of personal identity & desire. Fortunately, there’s ways to become financially free and to gain personal relationships that are 10-100X more fulfilling than what you’ve likely experienced. So you don’t have to remain stuck within the shackles of a cheap mainstream identity & way of life, if you first free your fucking mind, get really real, and then get effective.

Why limit your happiness with the glass ceiling of normality? For comfort? For certainty? Ha! I’m so certain that I’m 1000% more comfortable in my own skin than you. You’ve just gotten semi-comfortable being in your social mask. But you’ll never be truly fulfilled in it. Embrace your inner liberation. Embrace your deep self-discovery. Embrace your own alternative self. Embrace your human nature. Embrace your raw subconscious desires. Just 100% fucking embrace YOU.

People want you to be like Goldilocks and her porridge… Too little, and you won’t be liked or approved of. Too much, and you won’t be liked or approved of either. You need to be just rightly proportioned in all of your personal qualities & characteristics, so that you don’t have any hard edginess to you, based on the judgment of each unique individual person in your life. Do you see the fucking problem here? Does this shit really truly matter?

You’re about to be literally dead. Years & decades pass by pretty fast. Biological life is short. Then you’re gone from existence. Almost here for you…for everyone walking around today. So why the fuck would you not want to be ALL OUT YOU, instead of that filtered, socially acceptable person you pretend to be? What…you need a job & you need to please your fake friends & family? You don’t want to experience rejection. Yup. Good luck, average, normal, mainstream human. Die without being true to your deepest self. Your childhood self would be really proud of you ending up such a conformist & follower. You probably can’t sense the difference anymore. Good job… You’re society’s bitch in your one short human life.

On dating profiles, it’s an uncomfortable question when it asks me about my education level. Do I put “high school” or “PhD”? Either way, they’re going to get the wrong impression. I guess I’m fucking screwed unless I settle for something less conspicuous like “some college”.

I just pooped my panties. I couldn’t hold it anymore. Sowwy.

I just invented a technological solution to a computer input problem I’ve long had. I’m sure it’s been thought of before, but I think it’s technically feasible, so I’ll describe it here. Okay, be warned, major tech nerd alert…

So the issue is that I don’t work at a traditional desk and usually like to do my work on a computer while lying on a couch or bed. Overall, it’s more comfortable, and I can work longer each day this way. But, it’s not comfortable to always lay in an upright position, especially when getting tired, to work on a keyboard. I’ve always wanted to be able to lay in any position, whether on back, sides, or stomach, with my arms & hands in a comfortable place, and still be able to work using a computer display, mouse, & keyboard. The problem is that a traditional keyboard & mouse can’t adjust to any angle or surface, even with a mobile device, and your hands have to remain together in similar positions. The display portion can be solved with video glasses, which are already out there, I believe. Although, probably not optimized for laying your head in typical resting & sleeping scenarios.

So my solution for a keyboard & mouse in these scenarios would be to put on finger tip gloves that sense relative movement & pressure. Then there would be an onscreen keyboard display that shows the current hovering position & pressure indication of your finger tips on the virtual keyboard. Then as you move your fingers & press down, the corresponding key would be pressed & inputted. For a mouse, the finger gloves could sense when you close your hand into a fist, where it would then display & move the onscreen cursor with your relative fist movement. Then, to click this virtual mouse, you could quickly extend & press your index finger or middle finger, depending on the intended type of click. Keyboard mode could automatically be reengaged when it senses your fingers in the general spread position.

There could be a quick physical on/off switch on the gloves and a virtual pause button in the software for resting periods where you don’t intend any input. With this solution, it would allow you to have each hand in any independent position. Also, as you readjust your arms & hands for comfort, the relative orientation of your virtual keyboard finger placement could be reset to the start position. If need be, there could be a position reset indicator that you could press whenever your relative virtual positioning needs a quick recalibrating. It would take a fair amount of precision design, testing, calibration, etc to pull this off, especially for a mass market product, but I’d estimate that it is doable with today’s technology. You could probably type against any surface or just in the air too.

Overall, this would allow me to work in any lying position that’s comfortable in the moment, right up until I fall asleep. Right now, I often feel a need to take breaks, and have to quit working an hour or so before I fall asleep, because it gets too uncomfortable to stay lying in an upright typing position at these times. This would be quite the popular input device, I believe, and would revolutionize my own daily working experience. There, you see, now that I had to lie upright to type this note out, and am getting tired, I feel like I have to take a break and lay on my side for a bit. With my input finger gloves, I wouldn’t have to stop working. Someone make this invention so I can buy it, please!! If it works well, then you’ll add tons of productivity to humanity’s non-desk working hours, day after day, into the future.

I really wish I was with you in a warm, cozy, winter cabin, out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by piles of snow, somewhere in Russia, right now. While my businesses make money for me back in America, we can make love by the fireplace for a few months, and totally disconnect into our own fantasy of another place & time.

I’m just a blob of matter & consciousness perpetually trying to pursue greater understanding & happiness, using what I have at my disposal, limited by what I don’t & by my own inefficient bits of programming. We all are this. Sooo… Wanna fuck??

Forget being like and pleasing other types of people in this life. Just figure out how to find & attract people like you, and only be 100% you in the most pleasurable ways that make you most happy. Your people wouldn’t want you to be anything else. So… Who are you underneath, truly, unfiltered & unmitigated? Who are your true people, based on the real you? What could this life be like based on being purely you, with your exact types of people? Just leave the normal, average, traditional, mainstream world behind and spend your future discovering your true self & going deeper into your own customized wonderland.

If you aren’t willing to say & do what others only think & desire, then, like them, the bulk of your desires will remain just desires and never be your life experiences.

You and I could get in touch with our human nature and really do some deep, dark, naughty fucking to this song…

“Rise” by Encephalon

Should I publicly define myself relative to normal societal constructs and try to connect that out to the edges of my unique self, or should I leave that shit behind and just define myself relative to the edges of my unique self? I’m definitely more inspired by the latter!

It’s better to be misunderstood & controversial than completely understood & boring. Keep some real edge & mystery in the emotional mix. Your intrigue will multiply.

I never read fiction novels, but I think I need to start reading women’s romantic erotica novels. As an elite hedonist, there’s probably lots of sources for personal pleasure down this path. Right girls??

Mmmm… A warm shower on a cold cloudy evening, with enchantingly dim bathroom lights as I bathe my naked body. The only thing that’s missing is… you.

Rebellion is fashionable. …you don’t define me.

Should I start dressing more like a girl from the waist down? That’d be kinda fucking hot for a straight guy, right?? Waist up feels too gay.

Real sex is meant to be had with inspiration & spontaneity, up to your maximal pleasurable limits, in each moment. Not where each change of position & more intense engagement is timidly negotiated through questions & body language. It’s way better if everyone involved is free to fuck & make love to one another as they please, and have it still be mutually enjoyed. Open up. You’re not really that fragile. Take your passion & intimacy to its full potential. Make love like your going to soon be dead…cause we all will be anyway.

I just concluded a better way than the two brand/identity options for me presented in this note. The cutting edge of how I plan to project my personal identity to the world going forward is a concept that I’m calling “super brands”. This is about taking the few most potent parts of my identity that also integrate with my own maximal pleasure/happiness and zero in on & highlight them in my homepage & general presence.

This is the best way I currently see to be raw about who I am and still let people understand my key desires. This way kicks the ass of the comprehensive approach (adds focus & mystery) & it allows more than one important side to be emphasized about me. It’s about taking the “super brands” of my identity/life that are most potent and highlighting them in my overall presence. Yeah, boring shit, until I implement it. Busy now with business, so probably next year. Then you’ll be like HOLY STRAP-ON, BATMAN!!

To me, it feels like society had more enchantment & charm to it a few decades ago. It’s felt kind of stale to me throughout the 1990s & 2000s. I’m starting to feel like it is beginning to turn a corner and regain some of its natural social intrigue again. Cause, you know humanity…you are quite sexy underneath all of your bland commercial values.

Without being extremely physically intimate with a person, is there a general limit to how emotionally deep you can ultimately go with them? Maybe so.

I’m currently trying to describe myself comprehensively on my homepage, but am starting to feel like it’s better for me to just do so from my youthful, eccentric, hedonistic side? Hmmm… Maybe this is a function of my wealth as a derivative of my cyclical mindset of personal identity? I’m looking for transcendence, but in a way that people will get. Ya know?

My website is like my own tattoo. But it continues evolving over time with my identity. This tattoo covers the areas of my head, heart, & naughty parts, but it is for all to voyeuristically look at, even as I sleep. Some people find it attractive, while others find it repulsive. Some see it as a mark of self-expression, while others see it as the mark of the beast. I continuously find this tattoo to make me happy, because it’s just me. And I love me.

I’ll taste your boogers if you taste my taint. And I’ll pay you $2,000 cash. And you’ll do 42 jumping jacks. Deal???

The purpose of doing work is to reduce the need for work and up the opportunity for play.

When a new really big opportunity comes to you, it really does mindfuck you. I just recently landed a new really big opportunity, so my mindset has been thoroughly fucked, yet I can handle it well, since I’m certainly no virgin at this. My mind has been whored out to big opportunity like you wouldn’t believe, yet it still tingles a bit, in both a good & bad way. Let’s hope that this John actually pays after I put out and that I don’t end up with another black eye.

You’re such a little hussy. Me wuvs you.

Almost always, the core reason why a person is not successful, bitching about it, and scolding other successful people, is because…

They are too lazy to do what it takes to strategically engage in professional commerce, and/or…

They are too fearful to go out and confidently pitch to & convince people to deal with them, to which they say…

They aren’t afraid (BS!), but just haven’t done enough “preparation”.

…because, really, they’ve just been too lazy & fearful to put the same hard effort in as the people who are doing what it takes to be seriously ready & capable to go earn success out in professional commerce.

Assume it takes extremely shrewd strategy and a ton of effective action over many many years. Take 100% responsibility for your true willingness to be one of the people who will do it or not do it. End of story. Shutup.

Last decade was the decade of the self-employed internet marketer. I think this decade will be the decade of the algorithmic internet marketing entrepreneur. Watch out, before the decade is done, we could be talking about a similar game to Wall Street algo trading & rocket science PhDs. Let’s call this “Algo IM”, “algo IM”, “algo im”, however you’d like to capitalize it. I’m game, and am currently working on developing a very unfair advantage. The best way to play, IMHO!

An entity with an established brand can always reroute its influence through unbranded direct response marketing, if need be.

The most valuable thing I own right now is the ink on my whiteboard. You couldn’t afford it.

Wow. It looks like 2012 is going to be fucking outrageous!

Interesting… When I think immediate money, I use the term “cash”. When I think annual money, I use the term “income”. When I think a half-decade & beyond money, I use the term “wealth”. I’d like to have it all be “wealth”.

Next time we’re out in a public place, like a movie theater or a baseball game, let’s both accidentally trip & fall on the ground, then start rolling around & making out together for a few minutes. That’s just how I like to roll with exhibitionistic spontaneous fun.

Take the condom off of your life and feel the bare metal experience of it. Fun, love, pleasure, connection, self-expression, & happiness are so much more stronger feeling when you go bareback in life, compared to playing it safe. Embracing your human nature is the only way to fly! …Of course, real condoms are a necessity. Keep it clean kiddies.

Embracing alt sexuality is one of the absolute best things you could do to seriously up your life’s happiness. Trust me on this one. There’s alternative desires of human connection down in there just waiting to be fulfilled that would take you to brand new heights of your personal existence. What type of boring human being truly aspires to live a plain vanilla lifestyle anyway? One who is afraid of rejection? Trust me, you’ll love getting to know the real unrestricted you.

I wonder what intriguing people in the world are reading this who I don’t really know yet? Hello to you, strange human! I wonder what interesting bits of humanity you posses inside your unique little mind? We should maybe meet each other sometime soon. Eh?

Having sex in the front while having sex in the back is double the pleasure & fun.

Consistently do things that fundamentally change the game of who you are in life. Do this and you can’t be stopped, not even by your fear or laziness.

Okay, I’m making a crazy & true public claim for a good friend here that he thinks I’m going to end up eating…

I, Brian Watkins, hate work. I never want to do work in my life. I want to be permanently done doing work forever. Especially business work.

I just want to engage in things that are mental, social, creative, intellectual, adventurous, explorative, etc.

However, the reason why I’ll probably always have to engage in some work is that I won’t have trillions of dollars to effectively delegate all aspects of all work related to all pursuits in life I’m interested in. Otherwise, I would, and just forget the work shit. That said, with major financial success, I do plan to minimize my work to a huge degree.

There, I said it. Fuck work!! Yay play!!

If the typical life vision you have & pursue for yourself in life were turned into a movie, would it totally blow people’s minds or would it be fairly tranquil?

One of my aces I’m going to play this next year is a custom developed, multivariate optimization system that can be effectively applied to a wide range of websites & campaigns. Wanna strategically double your profits, without becoming a rocket scientist? Then forget your cheap ass analytics and get your business integrated with this killer system. Serious peeps only.

I like to hold hidden aces in my back pocket. I dare you to bet against me. I’ll always have another ace to play.

I wake up each day wanting to permanently escape into my bubble world. But it looks like the physics engine of this simulated reality is going to force me to personally build & achieve it first. Fine bitch!!

I used to think most people were stupid retards because of their A.D.D. mental focus while trying to communicate meaningfully with them. Still kind of do. But I’m more understanding now that I often indulge in my psycho bubble of pleasure.

You curb that special part of yourself because it has been rejected more than praised. You just surrounded yourself with the wrong people. Millions of people out there love that part of you. Show it to them, forget the rest.

Smart people periodically question what they really want in their lives. Wise people obsess about it nonstop and know why this matters. Word to the wannabe wise.

To progressively become a wealthy independent capitalist, you go from working on the transaction level (sales/deals), to working on the asset level (companies/properties), to working on the portfolio level (investments/funds). Of course, you need/want meaningful ownership, with good terms, at each step of the way.

Okay, today, I’m going to start the development of my first $100 course for Alt Happiness, which I actually plan to giveaway for free once complete.

Are you a science & wisdom geek like me? Then, I’d recommend the educational video series The Mechanical Universe from the mid 1980s. It is interesting and its style makes it so comforting & soothing. I often fall asleep to them at night. Makes me happy.

Who are you really trying to please with how you’re currently behaving in your life? …Don’t be a sucker. Just be you.

When a person knows or believes you’re a fake, then you likely won’t successfully persuade them by telling them what they want to hear, even if they believe in it. You’ll either have to genuinely become & demonstrate that you are for real, or you’ll have to contribute so much tangible value to their personal life that they don’t care about your fakeness anymore. Faker!!

I just reread a development copy of an ebook I started writing earlier this year about core strategic philosophy regarding alternative romantic/sexual relationships. It reminded me of many awesome distinctions that I can use for truly optimizing my personal happiness & relationship happiness (same thing) going forward in life. Damn, this is some good stuff. I decided not to finish this specific ebook, but have since decided to develop a business around self-improvement courses by me, which will include similar topics. This development draft is rough, incomplete, & unedited, but still packs a lot of valuable insights. It is about 60 pages, double spaced, about 10,000 words total, and can be downloaded here…

Alternative Relationships Ebook Development Draft

The primary difference I see between a kid and an adult is that most adults have given up feasting on their deepest desires based on what is possible and have instead given into pecking at crumbs of happiness based on what currently is. Life is what you make it, otherwise, it’s what general society makes for you. Reconnect with your childhood potential for transcendent human happiness.

Do the social circles & events in your life leave you feeling even more happy & deeply connected with your true self? If so, great! …Or do they consistently leave you feeling disconnected & demotivated because they suppress the real you along with your true desires? If so, then GTFO!! Life is too short to fake it.

I’ve got a demon and an angel on my shoulders. I sport fuck the demon and make love to the angel. Working on a threesome.

There are many venues & people who on the surface seem like what you’re looking for in life. You get attracted & your attention/excitement is peaked. But then you consistently find that most of these aren’t going to do much for your life. They aren’t going to fulfill your personal desires. It’s often because they are limited by their own world & cultural views.

You can either be a hardcore hunter and try to force persuasion, you can develop & contribute game changing value to them, or you can step away and figure out where the venues & people are that already directly align with engaging in your personal desires. I’m stepping away and moving over to the natural social habitat for what I am. Also, in the long run, I’m producing pervasive game changing value so that I can adapt most any social opportunity to my desires.

We insist on using a bidet and douching after going number two. Because, around here, we like to eat ass, but not poo. Assholes are sexy, but poo eating is for vikings. Keep it clean.

If you can’t get yourself to cry out of love & joy within the experience of deep human connection, then your heart is still half closed. Either keep living as a stone person, or… let go of your pain, allow yourself to be extremely vulnerable, embrace the feeling of love, & become a genuine human being. Your call, stoner.

Hey, I don’t make the rules of human nature. I just figure them out and exploit them for pleasure. Blame God.

There’s two key approaches to aiding one’s personal development… Strategy/Logic Upgrades and Emotional Shifts.

Most things can be accomplished through upgrades of strategy/logic, if the person isn’t damaged goods in that area, emotionally. I’m amazing at upgrading people’s strategy/logic, but once I’m dealing with damaged goods, it’s hard for me to emotionally shift a person. Also, the important conceptual distinctions they often need to make just don’t take hold, because they’re too busy subconsciously fighting the pain inside themselves for that issue.

People usually don’t do things because they are good for them, rather, because they are good to them.

Remember that pink bubble gum flavored liquid medicine the doctor gave you when you got sick as a kid? Yeah, that stuff was like candy. I should bottle it and sell it. The product name… “Dr. Pink Stuff”

The sources of meaningful experience that give you super white hot pleasure & happiness are always inside of you, but you’ll never notice them or hold onto them as long as you keep looking out at the world and interpreting your life experience through society.

By nature, general society is a surface-level, watered-down, compromised group experience of life. Why would you want to base your own personal identity, personal relationships, and personal life experience on such a thing? Yet you do, a lot more than you think. While you’re busy with the average default, you’re missing out on how amazing life could be for you.

You’re Momma told you to go outside and play. She was wrong. If you want a truly magical life, then you need to go inside, deep inside yourself, and play.

Architecting your lifestyle & happiness based on pure personal desires is so much fun!!

It’s amazing how many of your meaningful subconscious desires can be discovered out of your childhood experiences if you dig deep, pay attention over time, & hold onto the golden nuggets of desire that you find in memories. I just found another one today that is going to fundamentally change the qualitative vision for my group friendship plans going forward.

What good are “good things” if they don’t fulfill any of your desires? Well, they can otherwise be good things, only if they can be converted into your desires.

When I was a little kid (biologically), going out to social events at night often felt really enchanting, and like there was a pleasurable spark & excitement in the air. I so want to recreate that same feeling in my everyday lifestyle again!!

I wonder if and how much my own openness & personal development is a negative to some potential friends & girlfriends, in that it would be intimidating for them in consistently realizing their own insecurities? I wouldn’t want it to be, cause there’s lots of cool people at varying degrees of openness & growth.

Why don’t people take you up on your offers? Either they…

- Don’t presently want the value you’re offering.
- Don’t believe you can deliver on the life value for them.
- Don’t feel they have enough to compensate you with.

You obviously want to be focusing your efforts in life on people who want it and can trade enough value to you for it.

You also want to develop a brand & presence that makes people feel naturally confident that you’ll deliver all the value that you say you will. Don’t just describe your value & capability to them, rather demonstrate it so they can emotionally feel the impact. You’ll jump way ahead of all the other people who are just describing how great they are.

That’s hot. That’s sexy. That’s erotic. That’s naughty. That’s sensual. That’s beautiful. That’s lovely. That’s… human.

I get to wakeup another day and love you, hug you, kiss you, touch you, and get to know you deeper & deeper. I never want this to end with you girl.

Thinking about and discussing things through practical & logical perspectives is fun. However, it is often a killer of bubble world transcendence within a social experience. If you’re busy maintaining stuff or reasoning through shit, then you aren’t experiencing or sharing a transcendent vibe. If you want to create a personal or social psycho bubble to transcendently play in, then you’ve got to get more spaced out than your logical mind will let you. Fuck some aliens and transcend to outer spaceness!!

Jealousy = Fear of Loss (Pain) + Sense of Entitlement over others

Whether the jealousy is based on materialism, success, recognition, friendship, romance, etc…this is what’s going on at the subconscious core of it.

Reality is that you aren’t entitled to jack shit when it comes to the lives of other individuals, no matter who it is on planet earth. What you need to do is be independent minded and embrace a sense of compersion for the pleasure/love/success/abundance/happiness of others.

I’ll let you in on a little naughty secret… This enlightened way of living is actually the more self-interested way. You end up getting more of what you want. Shhhh… (see here)

One of the best ways to deepen an emotional bond with someone is to continue expressing & demonstrating your genuine love for them while they are mad at and/or hating you, and doing so with expressed compassion towards their negative feelings. Odds are they’ll get over it and love you more than people who’ve only expressed love towards them when they were being nice & attractive. Loving someone after they’ve hated on you is a deeper qualification of your genuine love.

Feeling deep love for something about a person that isn’t the real truly unique person isn’t a real deep love for them personally. It is social fetishism. That’s good stuff too, just don’t confuse the two. The test is whether you start hating on & controlling the other person when they behave differently from what you like. This shows it’s about the brand of who they are to you, not who they truly are as their raw unfiltered self. Both can be fine, just be mutually aware.

If you can’t feel compersion for me, then you’re probably gonna lose me as a friend, cause human beings are inherently meant & built to pursue a wide array of social desires. I embrace your pleasure/love/happiness and demand the same if our friendship is gonna last.

When you truly embrace hedonism, you embrace the emotional state of happiness and naturally avoid so much low quality, negative shit inside yourself. Other people still have their shit, but even that has much less of a deep grip on you. Life becomes about the consistent pursuit & indulgence of pleasure/happiness. Beat that, in the real world.

People have to learn that they can’t force others to be somebody that they’re not. Please stop deriving your own sense of identity from who others are to you. Connect genuinely with others and let them be themselves, no matter what. Embrace their personal happiness, or be shunned yourself, you selfish lonely twat hole.

Goddamn, people can be so ugly and so beautiful. Makes me want to fuck ‘em while saying fuck ‘em.

I’ve never been a jealous type of person in my adult life. I haven’t tested it super hard yet, but I feel like I’ve removed almost all jealousy from myself. I think this comes from a few different aspects of my personal development…

- I constitutionally don’t believe in a world view that supports it. Basically independence/meritocracy/non-entitlement.

- I’ve long recognized that other people’s jealousy impinges upon fulfilling my desires and I hate being a hypocrite.

- I’ve always been hedonistic, so I naturally focus on embracing pleasure, including the pleasure of others.

Also, jealousy is just an ugly & weak thing to me, so I’d feel like a total fuck face if I was acting out of jealousy in a negative way towards someone for being satisfied in doing what they want to do. This is a core issue for me, being a polyamorous social hedonist. It will be interesting to see how this plays out as I really put it through much harder tests in future relationships. I just don’t see myself being jealous. That’s just so fucking gross.

I’m the type of person who takes extremely independent positions in life. I’ve always been willing to dump relationships for my own core personal beliefs & identity, and I have when it’s come down to it. This has caused a decent amount of conflict with certain people in my life throughout the past.

But I’m now at a point of blunt openness & self-expression where people usually either accept me for who I am or accept the obvious fact that they can’t persuade me to be the traditional, professional, puritan, mainstream lackey that they want me to be.

For example, some people slowly & coyly reveal edgy or controversial aspects of themselves to their family & friends, like their alternative sexuality or morals. Not me. I just talk about it the same as the weather. Doesn’t really matter what type of person I’m talking to. If someone takes my existence as a negative, then they are asking for the teasing of a lifetime, cause they’ve removed the establishment of mutual respect. That’s often fun though.

In my early days as an entrepreneur, I just wanted to build & acquire shit. I didn’t want to put in the effort of doing the deep intellectual work of professional grade marketing. However, companies get built through the free decision making of others, and they usually have a lot of options beyond you. So in addition to becoming a professional entrepreneur, I later spent years becoming a professional marketer as well.

Marketing is at the very heart of entrepreneurship, and with the barriers of entry for commerce going way down, it is a vital expertise to have in order to successfully compete. Marketing used to be a limited function in businesses to influence sales. Now, whole businesses are being architected from the ground up for maximal value & influence. Can your amateur small business promotions really keep competing with the precision engineered marketing of thoroughbred companies like mine? Get fit, or get slaughtered by a new generation.

Self-employment & freelancing is about personally working to earn a comfortable living (laboring in the business). Entrepreneurship is about building a scalable enterprise to get wealthy (developing the asset/corporation), or have serious impact on numerous other lives, for social entrepreneurship.

Self-employed/freelancers are not entrepreneurs unless they are seriously & strategically working to scale their business into a sustainable independent company that doesn’t need them anymore. A lot of 6-figure self-employed people are posturing as entrepreneurs because of their upper middle-class income, but they are really just “wantrepreneurs”.

Financial success, sales, revenue, income, etc doesn’t make entrepreneurship. Rich old widows gots plenty of that. The serious work of building for scale is what makes entrepreneurship. Nothing else. Please don’t mistake self-employed business owners for us real entrepreneurs. We hire them. You can’t hire us. These are two different games. Lolz.

I often get these moments of… “Oh my god, what the fuck am I doing?” …where I fast forward to the end of my life, question the possibility/probability of an afterlife, and then wonder why I don’t go pedal to the fucking metal with pursuing my desires right now? I mean, I’m rolling pretty hard in life overall already, but I could just go all out psycho tenacious if I really wanted to. I do, but I guess I’m still afraid of that. Damn, that’d be so fucking outrageously sweet though. I’d make Ari Gold look like a nanny.

You can’t tame this narrato nympho!

Forget the hard sell. Forget the soft sell. Embrace the deep sell.

Deep selling is about expressing the genuine emotional conviction deep down in your soul and then letting them decide on whether they want to do business with you.

I can’t really fake a deep sell, so it doesn’t work for me in traditional business. But I will be using it for my new self-expression business.

I do believe that I’m going to embrace & commit to a personal development business for my choice of self-expression business right now. I’ve always flirted with the notion of a personal development business throughout the years, but it finally feels right for the foreseeable future in my life. I have some really cool shit up my sleeve as far as what I plan to produce. It’s going to start out as an online info products business, based on me, since it’s about my self-expression. Then it will hopefully lead to other cool shit. But, of course, I’ll still be building my traditional businesses simultaneously. Oh yeah, the name… Alt Happiness.

The #1 pillar of personal happiness is human connection.

The #1 pillar of personal development is self-discovery.

I take the success of young & dumb people very personally. It hurts, therefore inspires.

The conditions that made a bad reality so in the past no longer exist, so why are you still acting like it inside your head? You can go do that now and get what you really want. When you wake up each day, just get out of your fucking way.

Advice: Block any people browsing your blog with IE5 or below in the United States, cause they’re probably rural psycho stalker killers on dial-up. Next year, make it IE6.

You always want what you want, until you see something better, then you want that. But, you’ve probably seen that before, so you really just forgot and settled into something else for a while. So do you ever really know what you truly want, with both certainty & accuracy? Or does your direction just keep perpetually changing to something new? Most people’s self-discovery & pursuits of happiness in life are like a retarded kid trying to bob for apples. Get yourself untarded.

I know I’ll be doing traditional business for the rest of my life, but I’d really like to supplement with a career in self-expression at this point. I’m thinking heavily about diving into creating a financially viable small business centered around my own creative self-expression.

I’m very interested in music, personal development, & lifestyle communities, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I dive into a self-expression based business here soon. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. It feels kind of right now, but I just have to see the precise vision & strategic path. Then it’s GO TIME!

Here’s an anonymized part of a personal email I wrote that describes how I had a big shift in killing fear of rejection & building my social self-confidence to new heights, since my personal transformation.

Girls with hot potty mouths make good professional girls look so fukken lame. Let’s potty talk together, girl.

A person asked me for a light…I offered my fire crotch.

A girl’s beauty & sexuality are a spiritual experience…like transcendent music.

Most all people aren’t going to get the HappyBits app until I dumb the explanation of it way down. But I predict that most interested people still won’t spend 5-10 minutes a day to double their entire life’s happiness with it.

Don’t set your entrepreneurship up as a performance of your long held beliefs or personal identity. Instead, have it be an ongoing real-time reaction to real world opportunity/demand that is pulling you in.

I’m so HAPPY to announce the launch of my new app called… HappyBits! Wanna DOUBLE the happiness in your life? Then get the HappyBits app free at: HappyBits.me!

Life won’t feel consistently special without your core needs taken care of. Get your needs fulfilled ASAP in an ongoing way and then watch the enchantment of life’s experience be more consistently high. Core needs like income, self-expression, friendship/social, intimacy/sexuality, positive environment, etc. Without this stuff taken care of, it’s a lot harder to make your experience of life feel special.

If that’s the case right now, then do you remember a time where stuff in your daily life often felt more special, meaningful, & pleasurable to you? Maybe even as a kid? Your core needs were probably taken care of and you probably had a good basis of human connection for who you personally were then. You can always recreate the conditions that will make life feel special for you again now.

You don’t need penetration to make sexual connection ultra pleasurable. All you need is to interact in the right intimate & fetishistic way. For example, there are ways to make out that are often more pleasurable than fucking.

I’m sick, tired, my body aches, and it’s Halloween night. Yet I can’t stop working on my businesses. Some hedonist I am.

Why is it that whenever I make a meaningful life change, I always seem to get a surge of good new ideas for businesses? Probably just my creative & strategic mind at work on pursuing value & desires with new freed up options in my personal life. I just can’t stop coming up with good shit to do in my life!!