Ever notice how young people tend to judge others more hedonistically based on their own raw self-interest and older people tend to judge others more so based on attributes of personal character?
I now think the young person hedonistic model is actually more enlightened for real world happiness. Because, there are always going to be a surplus of character flaws to consistently discover & negatively judge in all people.
Since fundamental character flaws are so pervasive throughout humanity, it is a waste of time & happiness to decide to react to the observation of them with negative feelings towards the person. Think about a common image of middle-aged adults fighting about each other’s lack of integrity, honesty, professionalism, honor, etiquette, loyalty, prudence, blah, blah, blah.
You rarely see young people (teenagers & college-aged) wasting time with such concerns about other humans. They more often jump straight to the bottom-line and decide whether the person is serving their pleasures & self-interest or not, and give an emotional thumbs up or down based on that, without delving into the other person’s character.
I believe that this is the superior model, to simply judge people according to my own pleasures & self-interest (with an eye towards aligning mutual self-interest), instead of judging their lack of character. Of course, my values have developed into more meaningful things, so you won’t find me being as superficial as your typical young person, but instead focused on pursuing connection & fun with those that consistently perform on what is meaningful to me.
Imagine the experience of all of that negativity, based on matters other than what is or isn’t directly improving your happiness, just gone & vanished from life. Where it just largely becomes about the direct experience of happiness that exists between you & others. This young person hedonistic model is so clean and aligned with real world happiness, compared to the muddy, swampy, dark waters of other people’s character.
With this clear distinction, I’m going to make a mental commitment to try and start functioning this way as my default now, because I’ve been too much in the game of personal character. Fuck it! Just be hedonistically raw with people for maximal happiness. I’m so happy I made this distinction, as trying to connect with people based on their ‘good character’ has proven to be an extremely frustrating challenge! I love this new model already. 
